Monday, December 31, 2007

That's All, Folks!

And finally its over! With the number two draft pick at stake, the Rams didn't let up in their relentless pursuit of mediocrity and put another stinker out on the field with a resounding defeat to Kurt Warner and the Cards.

Yes, as I sat and watched the events of the day unfold I could only wonder what would have been if.....Alright! Let's just stop right there. If! What the hell is that? I along with many others have been making excuses all year due to the massive onslaught of injuries to plague this team, but yesterday proved that under this stupid ass coach we will never win.

Once again the play calling in crucial situations was atrocious. How about on third and long and fourth and long going to Ike or Torry? But no-ooooooo. Let's try again for the second week in a row to hit Looker or Bennett. Now I don't know what happened to Bennett, but at Tennessee he was the MAN! He was not only one of my favorite non-Ram players but also one of my favorite fantasy receivers. This year - hands of butter. That TD he dropped on Sunday was frickin stupid. And to continue to try to hit him on third or fourth down situations is a decision that Coach needs to be strung up for. To begin the game Torry was targeted often while Jackson was given a good share of the plays too.

But then it's like a light went off in Coach's head, and by "off" I mean "out." The whole rest of the game he seemed like he was on ludes or something. No fire or drive to get the guys to play hard. And with the group of misfits they had left, motivation was something they were sincerely lacking. He needs to go and go fast. Can you say "Mariucci?"

The end result of this game was exactly what I expected but the end result of this season was exactly NOT what I expected. Hopefully next year will be better, beginning with the draft of a TE or bust DL.

Great! I wonder if there's any room for me on the Patriots' bandwagon? NOT! I beg all of us Planeteers and Pagers to bury our heads in Rams 'lore and not just pray but BEG the LORD for a Patriots loss (like he really gives a crap about football, but some people think he does), or we will be forced to watch ESPN PatriotsCenter and Patriots Live for a long, long time. It's bad enough already as it is, I don't know if I can handle much more of it. Here's to next year us going 16-0 and stomping on Belicheat's parade.

Now where's the rest of that Wild Turkey?

Monday, December 24, 2007

Best Christmas Cookies Ever!

1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to bean off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


Marshall, Marshall, Marshall!

I was going to research these numbers to update them, but this flu is kicking my ass so I'll just give you what I got. As of late 2006, here are some of Faulk's achievements and why he will be a first ballot HOF'er. Period.

2000 league MVP

NFL record 2,429 total yards (1,381 rushing, 1,048 receiving) from scrimmage in a season.

Set an NFL record with 4 consecutive 2,000+ yards seasons from line of scrimmage.

Only 2nd player to gain more than 1000 yds both rushing and receiving in a season.

Tied an NFL record with Emmitt Smith to have 2 consecutive years of 20+ TDs.

Set an NFL record with three 4 TD games in a single season.

Set an NFL record with 2 consecutive years of 4 TD's in 3 or more games.

Set an NFL record with most TD's in a single season @ 26.

4th all-time in total yards from scrimmage.

4th all-time in touchdowns scored.

6th all-time in rushing TD’s.

9th overall in career rushing yards.

16th overall all-time in receptions including Wide Receivers. 2nd overall amongst running backs.

Monday, December 17, 2007

That's Just Me

I am so pissed off right now I could squirt! What a travesty that the three Rams fans in attendance didn't take it upon themselves to kick the crap out of the people IN THE FRONT ROWS who had the Packers signs up. I would have ripped those signs down and then gotten the "Lambeau South" jerkoffs and the "Rams Hunting Season" assholes kicked out for trying to stop me. But that's just me.

You think that for one minute I would have gotten away with putting up a Rams sign like that at the Raiders for a PRESEASON game? No frickin way. I'd a been jumped like a red headed stepchild and then taken out on a stretcher. It's a disgrace and is completely unacceptable that the season ticket holders sold out like they did. Maybe its because I am not a PSL holder, or that living out here on the NFC Worst, er West, Coast I would have given anything to see the game in person, but I just can't fathom giving up a ticket for such a monumental game and ESPECIALLY TO THE VISITING TEAM! But that's just me. If not to see the Rams but at least to see Favre and watch him break Marino's record - I mean, who wouldn't want to see it in person? Well, except for about 60,000 Rams "fans" who didn't show up.

Just keep it up, because I would love for them to come back to LA, where it's only a $100 flight instead of a $1200 one for me to see them. I have been a season ticket holder for seven years now - Sunday Ticket season ticket holder, that is - and refused to allow my oldest son's friend who is a Packers fan to come over and watch with us. But that's just me. And at $300 for the season, I really could've used his $20.

I love the Rams whether they win or lose, whether they play ugly or play pretty, whether I have to pay $300 a season to see them in HD or $3000 a season to see them in person. I would never sell out like that. But...that's just me.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Just Another Measly Sunday

Well that was fun. I really don't have too much to say about this game other than it turned out to be alot closer than I thought it would be. What with Brock "Don't call me Dieter" Berlin (Yeah, I know, it's a stretch) at the helm and after what happened last week at the hands of the Hall of Famer Chris Redman, I thought it would be the worst loss of the season. But alas, once again this team surprises me. It appears that the Defense has finally figured out how to play within Haslett's scheme and do some hurtin'; it's just too bad that at the same time the offense has figured out how to hurt itself more. One can only imagine what next week will be like when Favre comes a callin'. And in my best Forrest Gump voice I proudly say "and that's all I got to say 'bout that." For now...

Monday, December 3, 2007

The Fast and the Tankiest

When looking at the schedule before the season started, I had this one chalked up to an easy victory. No Vick and no Schaub, piece of cake, right? Well what do ya know - Another game where we jumped out to a sizable early lead and then had to hang on for dear life at the end.

Sunday’s game against the Falcons was the fifth straight game in which the Rams had a double-digit lead, with this win being only the third out of that five. How our offense can come out on fire and look so awesome and then just completely tank in the second half is mind boggling to me.

When the offense died (again) after going up 14-0 to begin the game (again) and it began to look like it was “OH NO” all over again, I almost decided to turn it off and go with my wife to her underwater basket-weaving class. Almost. This team really pisses me off, and I don’t know if it’s all coaching or execution or what, but if at least one of the coaches doesn’t get executed after this year then we will be in for another long season in 2008.

I hear a lot of talk about canning Linehan and promoting Haslett, but it is really hard to execute a successful game plan when you have 17 different O-Line units in just 12 games. That is truly unbelievable. And considering that one of those left standing was Steussie, who hadn’t played at all until last week (Browns), I tend to once again give Coach a mulligan on almost blowing this one. Too many injuries TO STARTERS, too many dropped passes, missed tackles, and dropped Int’s this season make it difficult to know how to judge this team fairly. But hey, if they want fair then just win, baby! If they want fair then get out there and kick ass on a team who has a QB that hadn’t thrown a TD pass since 2002 and wasn’t even in the league last year. Instead we make him look like the second coming of Kurt Warner. Thank goodness it’s a dog-eat-dog world and Vick is wearing milkbone underwear or this one may have left us staring at 2-10. Here’s hoping Carson Palmer doesn’t put up 500 and 6 on us.

Now I would like to address Steven Jackson’s pregame comments about the fans needing to whoop it up a bit more and get into it. How about shuttin’ your mouth and giving us a reason to believe that when you jump out to an early lead you will win? I wanted sooooo badly to get excited Sunday but I knew, I just knew that it wouldn’t last. And I was right. So until you can hold a lead and actually do something with it, Steven, just shut up and play. And remember that your team is 3-9, not 9-3.

On a side note, the way the Patriots won last night was sickening. Gaffney did not have control of that pass, and there is no way in hell that the Ravens get that call. And that defensive holding penalty right before that, even Steve Young said how ironic it was, since "the Patriots have been raping and pilaging tight ends for years" but getting away with it. This season is enough to make me want to walk away from Football altogether, not just the Rams. I almost literally don't care to watch it anymore. I hate Belicheat and Brady more than Sauerkraut on Spumoni ice cream. And that's pretty frickin gross! But here I'll be next week, just as pissed off about something else that goes wrong and more than happy to tell you about it. Hopefully it won't involve THE BESTEST TEAM IN THE WHOLE WORLD, THE ST LOUIS RAMS!