Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Horrible Again

Just a horrible horrible horrible display of football on Sunday, one that I didn't think possible after the horrible horrible display of football against the Seahawks the week before. What in the world was Coach thinking in this game? Its not Madden 12!!! The play calling in this game was just pitiful, as was once again the drive and momentum killing penalties that have plagued this team all season. How in the world we beat the Saints still just totally befuddles me, in fact I can't even remember right now how we did it.

I wrote previously that the acquisition of Brandon Lloyd was great sure, but that the guy would still drop a ton of passes and sure enuff the ones he miffed last week were just horrible. And when he does make them he seems to NEVER do it standing up - he kinda reminds me of the baseball outfielder who dives to make the catch when he doesn't need to. I really wish the coaches would remind him that YAC is waaaay more important than style, and that just because a pass doesn't need a spectacular move to make it doesn't mean he should let it fall to the ground. The guy is killing me with his ability to make the diving, stretching, contorting catch but don't you dare hit him in the hands. But I guess that when 60 percent of passes are dropped instead of 80, well, then it's acceptable.

Bench Jason Brown NOW!!! Replace Goldberg NOW!!! Them two are just atrocious. Goldberg got Bradford absolutely redrumed on Sunday, the worst one leading to a fumble after he got blown up within 1.5 seconds of dropping back to pass. There is no way to win like that, no way in heel. I'm tired of seeing our QB get slammed without any chance, I'm tired of seeing yellow on the field for the same stupid mental mistakes play after play. Barron is gone! Let him go please, he is the last person they should be trying to emulate. And now I'm gone, to San Francisco to watch our Rams kick the tarter sauce out of the Whiners. Well, unless someone out there wants to suffer for me...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

So Much for THAT

Yup, I was wrong again.  I think that from now on I will just say they will probably win or maybe even probably...not after they not only lost Salas for the season but also another winnable game.  I do not believe that our ability to make no-name rookies seem like all-pros will ever lend itself to winning another game, and I do not believe that our starters dropping like flies year after year will ever win us another division even if we stop the aforementioned quality.

This team has been the same for so many years now it is ridiculous, and it just goes to show even more so that Kurt Warner should be a first-ballot HOF'er.  Our team and the Cardinals have both taken a huge downturn after he left them in SB form, and he helped the Giants mold Eli into a SB winning QB.  Bradford is going to be a great QB in this league, but even Dan Marino never won a SB.  The way this team plays to lose is just sickening, and until the boneheads at the top figure out how to put a winning staff together we will always be on the wrong end of what is the greatest game in the world.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Won Down, Nine to Go

And what a WON it was! Geez it sure feels good to say that, and I must admit that I was not sure until about 15 minutes after the game was over that the Saints weren't gonna win. You know how it is with this team, somehow someway they would find a way to lose, usually by shooting themselves in the foot with penalties, dropped passes, turnovers, or horrendous play-calling but on Sunday there was none of that.

First play of the game SJ39 drops a pass right in his numbers and I thought "Here we go again." But then second play of the game SJ made a great play out of the flat, and third play he ran it right up their backs and I'm thinking maybe not again. Next two plays we go deep to Lloyd, which I think is two more times than we deep-ed it all of last year, and even though they were incomplete, they were barely incomplete so now my heart is racing and I was in pacing mode already. I could sense that things were going to be good with Coach being so aggressive so early on.

Then we hold them, the 62-points-last-week Saints vs us, the 57 points ALL YEAR SOSAR to a three-and-out and ultimately a scoreless first quarter and it all became clear to me. We were going to win!

I forgot about the officials though, and when they said that they had conclusive visual evidence that Salas stepped out of bounds on his great YAC attempt it brought me back down to earth. How they could see that is ridiculous. James Butler makes a stupid Personal Foul and Dahl jumps early and then we get a Delay OUT OF A TIMEOUT!!!  Now I'm freaking out, for this is the definition of our season and we were gonna get blown out.

But it didn't happen. Despite Barron, er I mean Saffold and his itchy trigger feet and the officials and another dropped INT by Craig Dahl, Red Zone turnovers, dropped passes by Lloyd, and Drew Brees being on the other team, we still won.  Our Defense played the game of their lives, so hopefully they have some left for the rest of the season.  Chris Long is Chris "Everett" no longer after the way he just destroyed Brees, and I can't wait to see how the Lloyd/Bradford connection takes shape when Sam gets back this week.

The December game against the Niners here in Cali could very possibly be for first place and I got my tickets chillin on ice.  The Niners look like a legitimate threat this year and it is going to be a fun rest of the season as long as the Defense keeps playing like this and if the Offense can catch up to them we will be looking at 10 in a row.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

0-3 is not 0-16...yet

As you all know by know, the Rams suck this year.  What you all may not know is that, well, ok so you know they suck REAL BAD!!!  The good news however is that they can only go 0-3 once per year,  but the bad news is they can continue to go 0-fer and end up tying the Lions for futility.  EVERY STINKIN YEAR at this time I kick myself in the face for ponying up almost 4 bills to watch them on The Ticket, but this year it is especially hard since the expectations coming off 7-9 were very high.

Now 0-3 is not the end of the season by any means, it is an 0-3 that does not include any division games.  My math is horrible, but if we just win all the division games and lose everything else we would finish at 6-10 and could still win the division based on head to head with the other 6-10 division team, whoever that may be this year.I am not throwing in the towel, but if we continue to take a bath I will need to trade my towel in for an automatic dryer!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What the Salas?!?!?

It appears that what we have been taught all of our lives about the preseason is being pounded into our heads: Don't get excited about beautiful preseason wins. After blowing through the preseason schedule like a hurricane, our team has suddenly began blowing like an onion ring fart. It stinks, and it hurts. I dont remember seeing Salas return punts during the preseason or even week #1, in fact I distinctly remember Norwood and Gibson among others, but not Salas. Maybe coach was trying a little misdirection, like "Ooooh they think Norwood is going to return punts this game but I'm gonna trick them and bring in the awesome punt-returner, secret weapon Salas. I'll show them!"

Yeah well, he showed them alright. Showed them what a stupid idea that was. Showed them the red carpet right into the endzone. Showed them that for the fifth consecutive season they dont mind starting 0-2, even though it was in front of the entire world on MNF and was the perfect stage to show that the Rams are back. Fumbles, penalies, dropped passes, and even more penalties do not show that to the world, but shows falsely that we are just the SOSAR. I know that we will probably still win the division by default since the only other choices are even worse than the Rams, but at least the coach could give the team the chance to win it outright by playing the players we need out there. First game inactives and second game actives just boggles my mind, and I'm not sure what to think at this point as to the direction coach is going.

THAT BEING SAID... I salute a huge "You're number one!" to the Giants for being such sorry azz cheaters. Faking injuries to slow us down? Are you kidding me? That was one of the most chickin **** things I've ever seen in an NFL game. Not only does this give me one more reason to totally despise New York teams, but it goes to show that we ARE a good team and that the Giants knew that they were very capable of being beat by us that night. Of course thay had no idea that Salas, or is it Salsa?, was going to be our featured WR at PR, or that Saffold would summon the ghost of Alex Barron and absolutely kill us on potential TD drives, or that Bradford hitting the WR in the hands or the numbers with that oblong leather thingy is counter-productive on our team.

All things being what they are, I guess we just have to hope that this coming Sunday against the Ravens will be a repeat of what a team way worse than us, the Titans, did to them: kicked their bahooty after the Ravens slew the mighty Steelers on opening weekend. No Amendola will again hurt us tremendously but we CAN win with Alexander and Kendricks and even Salsa playing the way they are supposed to and are capable of. Down go the Ravens, and GO RAMS!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


So here it is! My 100th blog post of all time so please put your hands together for this great accomplishment and I truly do appreciate your support over the years.

I am so excited for this season, what with Marshall being HOF enshrined, and to get to hear him in the broadcast booth is just awesome. The man is truly a scholar of the game of football and he provides the most insightful commentary I have ever heard.

And FINALLY! We get to see our QB throw farther than 18 yards downfield and someone other than SJ39 run the ball with guts and authority in Cadillac. I truly think he will be the most important free-agent acquisition we made. Very sorry to see Vobora go, and now Massey, and especially now that we get to, er I mean HAVE to play against David two times this year.

It is going to be an eventful and successful year for the Rams in 2011-12 and I can't wait to get it started.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

What Day is it Again?

So here it is nearly August and with only 3 days of over 100 degree weather so far this summer I am glad to say that, despite the relatively cold weather and my absence from Planet Rams being prolonged due to complications from surgery and this dag-gum medication, I am still hot as ever so sit down, shut up, and hang on to your laptop as I send you on a lyrical journey so profound that by the time you get done reading this sentence you too will feel like I should just start this whole thing I will. Geez that was horrible!

Speaking of horrible...this lockout thingy has just about got me ready to go postal. I am very tempted to cancel my DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket b4 they just decide to charge us anyway, and then I am going to sell all of my Ram's Memorabilia on eBay and Twitter and Facebook and...

Wait a minute. What's that? The lockout ended a few days ago? Well ruck me funnin! I had no idea, I guess this medication is stronger than I thought. Well great then! I guess I can keep my Sunday Ticket, and I don't have to sell my stuff on eBay and FaceTwitter and oh hell, is it time for football yet? It's time for my meds again, so sorry if I rambled. You know, its hard being on so much medication and in so much pain all the time, but at least from what I hear the NFL lockout thingy might soon be over!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Gone on Hiatis

BeaverRam has gone in for back surgery and will be in the hospital for a week after and then will be out of commission for a couple of months. So we will not be graced with any of his football wisdom for a little while.

We hope that all will go well and that you will have a speedy recovery and will be coming back soon spunky and feisty as ever.

You will be missed BeaverRam!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Just Play, Man. Just Play.

This is so ridiculous. How can grown men possibly want to lose 9 billion dollars in revenue because they can't agree how to share 10% of it? I'm not sure if they will lose it all if there is a full-season lockout, but just the thought of it would be enuff to make me say to the other side: "Sure you can have an extra billion - we'll just have to scrape by with our 40% share." Really makes me mad when I hear them say that they need to be able to take care of their families "like they're used to doing." Are you kidding me? In this economy where most people are fortunate to still be able to provide for their families AT ALL, these clowns are holding out for an extra billion dollars. Not standing in line in the rain with 3000 other degreed job applicants to land a sales position at a local car dealership, but sitting in a luxury hotel with fresh hot coffee and donuts crying about a billion dollars.

Boo hoo hoo, you greedy sons of bitches. You should be ashamed of yourselves, with all the poverty and sickness and depair and self-inflicted loss of life that is engulfing the world right now while you sit there sticking out your chests, living off the money you made three years ago.

 A LOT of other jobs are at stake if you don't play this year, and a lot of people who you can't even see will have their lives turned upside down if you keep up this crybaby attitude. I hope you all have to face the same fate as the rest of them do - unemployment, foreclosure, and hunger. Then maybe you'd just play some football. That's all you gotta do - just play football. I'm pretty sure your families will be ok without that extra billion.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


No, really, my friend knows someone who has a baby named Jeebus. So they will hopefully not get upset that I attribute that sorry, pathetic, and horrendous performance to their son. Or is it a girl? Somtimes you just can't tell, you know? Kinda like how one week we get the Jekkyl and the next a Hyde out of the Rams and their stupid, ignorant, and underwhelming play calling and play execution. These guys make how much to play like that? And if you or I gave our bosses that type of effort on an as-frequent basis, we would be out of a job so fast it would make a cheetah seem slow.

With the talent we have on this team at QB and RB, we should have been able to kick the Seahags sorry ass D in the frickin teeth but instead we rolled over and asked them to pour a little sand on it while they were at it. An unbelievably poor and embarrassing performance by a bunch of overpaid self-absorbed athletes. Catch a ball thrown right into our hands? OOPS! Stop a QB who was 0-1 as a starter? OOPS! Almost as bad as naming your baby JEEBUS.